Meeting a BME child’s identity needs

Last Updated on Monday, 26 March 2012 |

Introduction

The dynamics regarding which group black and mixed heritage children identify with are very complex. It is often stated that some children “want to be white” or are rejecting their colour or “denying their blackness.” This is an over simplification of what is going on and all sorts of factors need to be considered.

For some black and mixed heritage children, particularly those who live with their white parent and have little or no contact with their black parent or the black parent’s family, recognising and understanding that they are black and then starting to identify with a black racial group, can have emotional consequences.

For example, if they perceive their white parent as caring and supportive, they may not wish to hurt a loved person by rejecting the white racial identity of their main carer, or white people in their main care giving environment.

Therefore helping a black child to understand, and feel positive, about their racial identity is crucial in enabling them to develop into an emotionally healthy adult.

Mixed heritage children in the UK live in a predominantly white society (The BME population of the UK at the time of the last census was approximately 8% of the entire population) and the white part of their family background is therefore constantly reinforced by both the community they live in and the wider mass media i.e. television, newspapers.

Foster carers therefore need to be pro-active in encouraging mixed heritage children to understand and feel positive about the black and minority ethnic part of their family background.

People who have not taken time to consider identity may think that a mixed heritage child “looks white” and will therefore be viewed as white within their community and accepted.

However research shows that mixed heritage children will be seen as black children by the community they live in, and by wider society, and so need to be equipped by their carers for the racism and discrimination they will experience as a result of this.

Providing emotional support

The trauma of separating a child from the birth parent/parents, family and community is probably the worst trauma any child will ever experience. The effects should never be under estimated or ignored even if many years have passed. Therefore, because of this disruption, black and minority ethnic children may face several new complex challenges not only physically but culturally. Appropriate support, help and understanding are needed to negotiate these. It is important to:

Encourage and enhance positive black identity, culture, linguistic knowledge and skill
Provide the child with techniques and survival skills necessary for living in a racist society e.g. good communication skills in order to avoid conflict; being proud of who they are
Intervene if a child is being laughed at or excluded because of the colour of their skin or the way they speak
Try to ensure that the child is not isolated within the home or at school by e.g. including them in family activities and encouraging other children in the home to involve them in their activities. Find out what special interest the child may have and speak to the school about encouraging the child and stimulating the child’s interest
Speak with the child to identify any problems he/she may be experiencing e.g. harassment, bullying and racism
Seek out appropriate people within Children and Families or voluntary organisations who may have the skills to assist with providing emotional support; think about appropriate counselling and support groups
Empower the child to develop their self-esteem by praising the positive things about him \ herself; encourage the child to seek out and engage in recreational activities.

Providing practical care

A child’s identity is based on a range of factors including their ethnicity, language, family relationships, the community they live in.

Practical things, such as food and diet, hair care, social activities, education etc are also very important in forming a child’s identity and we enclose below some advice on how foster carers can meet these practical needs in regards to BME children;

Education

From a psychological perspective, there is no difference in the cognitive or educational capacity or development of black children as compared to white.

However, in social terms, there is no aspect of child development in which racism has had a greater impact in this country than that of educational and cognitive development.

It is very important to be aware of this and to find out where extra support can be put in place. There is advice in this pack (see page on emotional and practical support).

You can speak to the child’s teacher, you can get advice from your own supervising social worker.

One important local contact is EMAS (Ethnic Minority Achievement Service). They have an early years service, bi-lingual family support groups and a range of advice for language support and cultural development.

They are able to support foster carers who are caring for black and minority ethnic children including unaccompanied asylum seekers. They can assist with bi-lingual support needs and with difficulties at school.

For further information about their services please contact 01273 507367 or email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Food and Diet

It is important to provide a black child or young person in your care with foods that are familiar, both in the way they look and taste, so they can maintain their links or begin to build links with their cultural background. As carers you have a responsibility to ensure that where possible, this is maintained.

Some cultures are strict about the food they eat as well as how it is handled and prepared and where indicated this should be adhered to. Some carers who are not used to preparing foods for black children and young people often can perceive this as too difficult, taking up too much time and cannot see the difference it makes in the way a dish is prepared and cooked.

It is therefore important that carers understand the cultural and religious beliefs behind many black children and young people’s diets. For some black children and young people, strict religious and cultural beliefs may not have been followed with their birth families and they therefore do not perceive themselves as having any strict dietary need.

Ask the birth family (if possible) or social worker for information on the dietary needs of the child
Check out if the child or young person has any religious and cultural dietary restrictions; ask the child or young person if they have any favourite foods; do not make assumptions; try involving other members of the household when planning meals
Introduce the different dishes to other members of the household so the child or young person does not feel isolated at meal times
If you have been given strict guidance about a child or young person’s diet, do not substitute it with an alternative because you cannot see the difference it makes; develop your own understanding of foods from different countries and cultures.
If in doubt, ask! There are plenty of books available in local libraries, there are recipes online; we have useful books in the fostering office. You could contact local groups in this pack.
Advice is also available from your supervising social worker and the Brighton and Hove BME recruitment and publicity officer, Virginia Collison, who is happy to visit you to offer advice. Virginia is based in the Fostering Team and can be contacted on 01273 295444.

Skin Care

All children and adults need to pay attention to skin care. People’s skin differs in colour, texture and types. However, appropriate care of a black child or young persons skin is an important part of caring for their well-being and should not be neglected. black people’s skin is often naturally dry due to the climate conditions and natural make up of the skin and needs to be cared for by regularly moisturising with creams and lotions. This is even more prevalent during the winter months when the skin is often more at risk from excess dryness, left neglected it can often develop cracks. Not recognising or acknowledging a black child or young persons need for appropriate skin care products could have a long-term effect on their self-image and self esteem.

You can care for a black individual’s skin by obtaining the right products; Using oil based products, body lotions, creams specially developed for black skins e.g. Cocoa Butter, can help to relieve skin dryness and keep skin supple.

Black skin is very sensitive therefore avoid using alcohol based products as these can further dry the skin. Lotion/creams should be applied on a daily basis (sometimes more than once a day) especially to the face, arms and legs and after bathing. Using bath oils in the bath is also helpful to keep the skin soft.

Skin that has not been moisturised can often have an ashen appearance.

Exposure to the Sun

Climate changes can affect the skin. It is often thought that because of skin colour black people cannot get sunburnt. Black people can and do frequently suffer from sunburn if exposed to the sun for long periods. Sun protection creams should be used to protect against sunburn. For babies and young children use a high factor sun cream.

Hair Care

In all cultures, hair grooming is an important part of a persons every day personal care and appearance and should not be overlooked.

Adolescence is a time of great change that often presents some difficulties. For most young people appearance matters and becomes a real issue, it is important to feel right, and look right, as this often affects the way they are seen by others. Too often the hair care of black children and young people being looked after is neglected as most workers and carers have little, or no knowledge about it’s care and perceive it to be difficult to manage.

A foster carer caring for a child of mixed heritage (age 3) said:

“I did not know where to start with her hair, she was with me for several weeks, before I got up the courage to ask a black mother at the school for advice. I knew it needed combing and that is all I did and bunched it into a ponytail, because it was so dry. She gave me some tips on what I should use and now we try a different style every day”

Often children who have been removed from their birth families and communities at a young age have not acquired the necessary skills, knowledge and information on how to care for their own hair, e.g. what hair products to use etc and therefore often cannot offer any guidance to their carers.

You will need to be aware that for some black children and young people because of religious beliefs, hair should not be cut i.e. Rastafarian and Sikhs.

Advice from Local Hairdresser

Shae Shae Creations Afro & European Hair and Beauty Salon are based in Brighton and are happy to provide advice to foster carers on hair care for BME children. Below is some practical advice on hair care from them.

They also run positive hair days (PHD.) These are hair care workshops held in Brighton, for black and mixed heritage individuals and their carers. PHD website will shortly have a designated section for male and female hair styles and Q & A hair advice. The dates for PHDs and further information can be found on their website; www.positivehairday.org.uk

Daily Maintenance if you have Afro/mixed heritage hair

(Advice from Shae Shae hairdressers)

Afro and mixed race/heritage hair needs a different care routine from European hair. For example it is not advisable to wash your hair every day. Once a week is usually sufficient, although this depends on your daily routine (for example people who swim regularly in chlorinated water should use anti chlorine shampoos to remove the chlorine from their hair as often as they need to).

Depending on your hair type, it’s a good idea to grease, comb (using a big toothed comb) and massage your scalp up to 3 times a week. This helps to look after your scalp, and it prevents dryness and encourages healthy new growth. How often you grease the scalp depends on how dry it is.

In order to do this, section your hair into 4.

Part the hair and put hair food on the scalp (you can use a more natural alternative such as olive oil for young children). Comb this thoroughly into the roots and apply to the scalp. After you have covered the whole scalp, then apply curl activator to the hair itself.

If you don’t comb the ends of your hair regularly they will fuse together in clumps.

This is particularly damaging if you don’t trim your hair regularly since you will cause further damage to ends which are already weakened.

Do tie your hair up at night to keep in the moisture. Twist (or plait it) and apply softening oil moisturiser. You could wrap it with a satin scarf.

Relaxing your hair

People sometimes relax their hair because they don’t know what to do with it. But relaxing is very harsh on your hair (because of the strength of the chemicals which are used) and it can be particularly harsh and damaging on young people’s hair.

Products

Avoid using hair products created for White European hair which are too drying for our hair.

Products containing Cocoa butter and Shea butter are very good for Afro/mixed heritage hair.

Products can be divided as follows: Hair Food sometimes called Hair Dress; This is aimed particularly at the scalp to help moisturise and encourage healthy new growth Daily Use Moisturiser for daily moisturising of hair and Curl Activator for daily dressing of curly hair. Shampoo and Conditioner (use separate shampoo and conditioner) Oil Sheen used to give extra shine to the hair (optional).

Top Tips for Boys Afro/Mixed Parentage Hair : (from Shae Shae Hairdressers continued)

Groom hair everyday with Hair moisturiser (Hair food/cream/oil) massaged into scalp from the root to the end of the hair.
Use a comb or brush depending on length, texture and type of hair.
Try not to wash any more frequently than every 3 to 4 days (Dependant on lifestyle).
Use a Shampoo and conditioner suitable for Afro hair.
Hair will need to be trimmed every 4 to 8 weeks dependant on speed of growth.

Top Tips for Girls Afro/Mixed Parentage Hair:

Girls may also need to use a de-tangler lotion or spray when combing hair
You do not need to wash your hair every day; leave it at least 3 or 4 days, a week if possible.
Moisturize at night! Twist or section hair into loose plaits If hair is prone to be dry, use a head wrap at night before sleeping (Durag, silk scarf, old stocking)
Hair styles can be viewed on the internet via YouTube. Search Afro hair styles.

Choosing positive learning - toys and books

Books and toys are often a child’s first link to learning and exploring the world around them. Therefore, when choosing play and reading materials, you should look to select quality items with good play and learning potential. In addition to this, it is important to be aware of the messages toys and books can carry. Many such items may present racist, sexist and discriminatory images.

In order for children to live in and play a positive role in a multi-cultural society, we need books which reflect and respect the diversity of culture, ethnic and religious backgrounds. At the early stage of their development children are eager to learn and absorb knowledge quickly. It is crucial therefore, that the visual and written images presented do not show discriminatory views.

When buying or selecting books, some points you will need to consider:

Who is represented in the pictures? Are the images mainly of white people? Do they reflect the multi-racial society in which we live?
Look at the quality of the illustrations. Are the skin tones correct, physical features, hair textures and styles accurate?
Do they give an accurate balance and up-to-date picture of today’s multicultural society?
Do they show people from different ethnic groups in positive roles in everyday situations, rather than nominal roles and stereotypes?
Do they give positive recognition to the cultural roots of different ethnic groups?

Music

Music plays a central role in all cultural expression. Therefore, it would be helpful to introduce children to different forms of music and instruments. Another good way to share and value a child’s own language is to learn a few lines of a song or nursery rhymes.

Look around for CDs of relevant music or traditional songs/ lullabies that you may be able to borrow from a Library.

Magazines and newspapers

Purchasing newspapers such as Asian Times, The Voice, and magazines targeted towards the black community which may be familiar to some children and young people, is also a way of keeping young people in touch and up to date on issues for black people around the country and the world.